You Don't Have to Be A Hermit to Break Free From Sex Addiction
Everyone has a "sex drive"—it's God-given and normal to experience sexual thoughts and desires. But going to war with your sexual urges in not the answer! How you choose to bridle and direct the amazing power of sexuality is what matters most.
An important part of breaking free from unwanted sexual outlets and behaviors, is learning how to harness and direct your sexual urges and desires in healthy ways. We all have a "sex drive." It's completely natural and normal to have sexual thoughts, urges and desires. In fact, this is nothing more or less than "the power to co- create life" being manifest in us. This includes the power to co-create a human life, and to co-create the life of a relationship. Having sexual urges and desires in no way makes you a bad or perverted person! It's what you do with these urges—how you direct this power and this energy, that makes all the difference.
Sexuality is an urge, a desire, an appetite and a want. It's not a need. It's not something we must have to sustain life. It's much like other wants we have. We may want chocolate, rich desserts and other sweets, but we don't need them. If we overindulge in these types of foods, they become destructive. We have to use them in moderation and within normal, healthy boundaries.
There are also healthy limits and boundaries we should place around our sexual appetites. When we exer- cise our sexual desires responsibly within a healthy, long-term commit-ted relationship, we can experience our greatest happiness. If we don't restrain our sexual desires and activities, we can lose time, relationships, happiness, respect, employment, sleep, and contract terrible diseases— some that can even kill us! Controlling appetites is really not so unusual, we do it all the time with many things. It doesn't mean we don't have these desires, it just means we must direct, manage, limit, regulate and use them wisely.
When attempting to overcome un- wanted sexual behaviors, individuals often feel great frustration in connec- tion with their sex drive. They speak of years of gritting their teeth, clenching their fists in a fight to suppress sexual feelings. Unfortunately, they have completely misinterpreted the nature and purpose for these feelings.
When you feel sexual arousal, it doesn't have to be destructive.
It's simply a creative power and energy that wants to be expressed in some way. How you choose to direct that energy fully determines whether its expression will bring you peace, joy and fulfillment, or disconnection, emptiness, and depression.
An example of trying to shut down sexual drive vs. directing it for incredible good, is the familiar image of a dam. If a dam's only purpose were to completely stop the flow of water, eventually the dam would overflow or burst. A dam's real purpose is to redirect water for a higher purpose.
When sexual drive—or creative energy—is felt, its highest purpose and best use can be to form powerful bonds, closeness and friendship between two human beings; create new life; and be redirected to contribute to the happiness and success of everyone around you.
When you feel a sexual urge, it's creative energy looking for a way to be expressed. If you're not in the appropriate setting, with the right person, you don't have to go to war with the urge, you can direct it for good. You can start overcoming your unwanted sexual behaviors and outlets. You can learn how to channel and redirect your sexual urges and energy to achieve what you want most out of life. The RECLAiM program is designed to give you the training, resources, tools and support you need to achieve this. Why not get started today?