One Single Woman's Struggle With Masturbation

There's a lot of focus on the "male" struggle with masturbation, but there are many women who find themselves trapped in this addiction. The following is from one of our female Students:

"I was feeling really down on myself. I had a feeling of being isolated, distanced and disconnected from people. I really didn't have any fulfilling relationships and wondered if I ever would. I went out occasionally with friends or hooked up with somebody at a party or club, but it never went beyond a few dates. The only sexual satisfaction I got was when I masturbated and that only gave me a quick release and then I felt empty and down again. Sometimes I went to online singles chat to try to connect. The conversations usually turned sexual, and they did give me a certain amount of excitement, but just left me feeling more disconnected and lonely.

I also noticed that if I didn't masturbate I couldn't get to sleep. And sometimes after a long day at work or when I was stressed I couldn't wait to get home so I could get that type of release. At first, I thought it was fine, normal and read many places that it was "healthy," but if it's healthy why do I feel down after and sometimes feel like I "have" to do it. One time, just to see, I decided to stop and as soon as I made that decision, all of a sudden it became something that I had to do. I almost felt out of control and I finally gave in. So this has made me wonder.

I was talking with a woman who I work with about it because she's always been open about these types of things and she said that she had masturbated for a long time and when she was in a relationship, after a while she found that she was able to climax easier with masturbation than with her partner. She said it caused problems in their relationship because he didn't feel like he could satisfy her. She also thought something was wrong with her.

This got me worried and so I tried again to stop and I couldn't. I became very anxious and almost obsessed with stopping. But the more I tried, the more it had the opposite affect and I started doing it more and more, which caused even more anxiety. At this point, I realized that this behavior went a little bit beyond just a release at the end of a stressful day and I decided to do something about it. That's when I started the RECLAiM program."

What I learned from the RECLAiM Program

"Starting RECLAiM was initially my way of figuring out what was going on with the masturbation habit I had developed. I learned how I had developed the habit, why I it was difficult to stop and then learned through re-training my brain that I could stop and regain control and manage my stress in ways that worked better for me.

But what I didn't expect was that I also learned why I wasn't having fulfilling relationships, and then I gained tools to first work on my own self-image and then I learned how to have meaningful, connected relationships."